Well, I made it! Honestly a month ago I was pretty sure I wouldn't make it to see Swear in... But I did, and here I am waiting for the Land Cruiser to be loaded up so we can go to site. We will be moving in over the next couple day and shopping for our new homes! A good bed is first on the agenda, which might be hard because good mattresses are far and few between here. Pretty much everyone has left already, there is only us Koulikoro folks left!
It was really sad to say goodbye to everyone today. 3 months seems like so long til we come back to Tubaniso at the end of November for IST.
Crap thats the horn for us! gotta go, wish me luck and I probably wont be blogging for a while!
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Monday, September 7, 2009
The Final Homestay
Welp.... back from my final homestay. Its so weird how full circle it went! I was crying when I got there because I was basically freaking out and over whelmed, I didn't want to be there you know all that jazz. I thought I would be so excited to finally get out of Baguineda Camp but it was actually really sad!
I have been faced with the issue that Malians don't cry and it is actually culturally inappropriate to cry in front of them. If any of you know me at all you know that I am always crying (if I'm upset, sad, mad, happy, scared... doesn't really matter) So you could imagine me here, where everyone is on an emotional roller coaster ride all the time and you seem to go through all of these emotions various times through out the day. I now know what its like to be bi-polar I believe! I accidentally let a few tears fall in front of some Malian guys, who happen to be the sons of the Chief of Baguineda Camp... In my defense they weren't there when I started crying and walked into my conversation! They were dumb founded as to why I could possibly be crying and proceeded to make fun of me, which in turn only made me cry more. They basically said "whats wrong with you? you are crying because you don't like it here? how could you miss America you have only been here for 2 weeks!" then then told me that only babies cry and therefore I must be a baby. I hated them all! But since then they have evolved from making fun of my crying to calling me Belabelaba, which directly translates to fat. hahha... yup there is another tubab in our village with the same African name as me, she is Rokia Coulibaly fintini (skinny or small) and I am Rokia Coulibaly belabelaba (fat or big). By American standards this is straight bull shit and made me want to cry all in its own, because I am actually not the most "belebelaba" tubab girl in my homestay, I am however the most curvaceous? Its all so very uncomfortable to have everyone discussing my body! SERIOUSLY! I do now understand that big women are considered beautiful here and its a compliment but I am after all American and I don't think I will every to fully take that as a compliment. I have never felt so fat as I do here in Mali!
Aside from that, My family and most people are so nice its amazing. We had a going away "party" (if you will) at the dugutiki's house (Village Chief). All of our host families came with us to see us off, they carried our things and sat with us til the Peace Corps bus came to pick us up. I was totally fine until my host grandma came up to say goodbye to me. She is probably around 70 and she said "Rokia, I have to go to the market now, I won't see you anymore" she reached out to grab my hand, I wasn't looking at her because its respectful to NOT look directly at the elders here (weird) but I looked up when she stopped talking. Usually they ramble off at least 5 blessings before they leave and she said nothing! I looked up and saw her lip quivering and tears in her eyes! WHAT?! OK, of course... then I lost it! and so did everyone around me! It was so crazy, that opened the flood gates and most of us cried a little between that moment and the moment we waved as we drove off. I think that has been a defining moment for me. I felt like I have just been going through the motions and not really affecting anyone. But now I have realized that in the short time I have been here I have built relationships.... We have made an impact on each others lives in just a little over a month... Its crazy to think what can happen in two years!
I have been faced with the issue that Malians don't cry and it is actually culturally inappropriate to cry in front of them. If any of you know me at all you know that I am always crying (if I'm upset, sad, mad, happy, scared... doesn't really matter) So you could imagine me here, where everyone is on an emotional roller coaster ride all the time and you seem to go through all of these emotions various times through out the day. I now know what its like to be bi-polar I believe! I accidentally let a few tears fall in front of some Malian guys, who happen to be the sons of the Chief of Baguineda Camp... In my defense they weren't there when I started crying and walked into my conversation! They were dumb founded as to why I could possibly be crying and proceeded to make fun of me, which in turn only made me cry more. They basically said "whats wrong with you? you are crying because you don't like it here? how could you miss America you have only been here for 2 weeks!" then then told me that only babies cry and therefore I must be a baby. I hated them all! But since then they have evolved from making fun of my crying to calling me Belabelaba, which directly translates to fat. hahha... yup there is another tubab in our village with the same African name as me, she is Rokia Coulibaly fintini (skinny or small) and I am Rokia Coulibaly belabelaba (fat or big). By American standards this is straight bull shit and made me want to cry all in its own, because I am actually not the most "belebelaba" tubab girl in my homestay, I am however the most curvaceous? Its all so very uncomfortable to have everyone discussing my body! SERIOUSLY! I do now understand that big women are considered beautiful here and its a compliment but I am after all American and I don't think I will every to fully take that as a compliment. I have never felt so fat as I do here in Mali!
Aside from that, My family and most people are so nice its amazing. We had a going away "party" (if you will) at the dugutiki's house (Village Chief). All of our host families came with us to see us off, they carried our things and sat with us til the Peace Corps bus came to pick us up. I was totally fine until my host grandma came up to say goodbye to me. She is probably around 70 and she said "Rokia, I have to go to the market now, I won't see you anymore" she reached out to grab my hand, I wasn't looking at her because its respectful to NOT look directly at the elders here (weird) but I looked up when she stopped talking. Usually they ramble off at least 5 blessings before they leave and she said nothing! I looked up and saw her lip quivering and tears in her eyes! WHAT?! OK, of course... then I lost it! and so did everyone around me! It was so crazy, that opened the flood gates and most of us cried a little between that moment and the moment we waved as we drove off. I think that has been a defining moment for me. I felt like I have just been going through the motions and not really affecting anyone. But now I have realized that in the short time I have been here I have built relationships.... We have made an impact on each others lives in just a little over a month... Its crazy to think what can happen in two years!
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